Body Betrayal

I feel devastated. Two failed attempts - I haven't even had to use a test, yet. This is so hard! I know it's only been a couple of months of serious trying... but we're both young! Healthy! What is going on here??
So now I've started the dreaded Ovulation Chart process. It's kinda gross - you have to track your cervical mucus and stuff. Never thought I'd end up doing this sort of crap. So... TV. But I don't want this to keep being failure after failure. As it is, I've now discovered my cycle is NOT regular, as I previously suspected. No, it is quite irregular, annoyingly so. And it is now averaged out at 26, rather than the text book 28 - although I've also found out now that most women range from about 24 to like... 40 days in cycle length. Up yours, textbook! Sucky, though. There's a maximum of six days where I can get pregnant, and if Adrian's little swimmers are less than willing, no baby.

So humiliating to say Its Not Working!! If I hear another "I got pregnant on the first try!", I will start strangling people. It is true what they say: the minute you start trying, it suddenly becomes hard. All those years avoiding pregnancy, and now that I want it, it's all evasive and full of trickery. TRICKERY!! All the time I think about it, all the time! I dream about being pregnant, I fantasize, I image, I wonder... I've already decided I want a water birth, picked out names, etc, etc, etc. All my dreams are based on this - I guess it's no wonder my body is crashing under all the pressure.

Eh. So we have to try harder. I'll keep you posted.
.m.